Hope For The Holidays

This time of year is often a difficult time for those of us who suffer from a mental illness. We are often isolated, estranged from families or have fear of social situations.

Just over five years after I joined Recovery Canada and started to make the effort to improve my mental health I have a better understanding of that now.

The process has been a gradual one. The method we learn in recovery is a training method. I didn’t get sick overnight and I had to accept that I wouldn’t be well overnight.

We learn in recovery that fear is a belief and beliefs can be changed. How can changing our viewpoint of situations be of help? I know when I was new to recovery that was beyond my comprehension.

Recovery has given the opportunity to work on events as they occur. I have learned to work myself down and also to drop my judgement's towards other people, places and things. I take things less personally now and focus on controlling my inner environment (everything inside my skin). That is where the power is!

The holidays were a very distressing time for me in the early days. . I started working myself about the holidays pretty much right after Thanksgiving was over. (I am a Canadian so that’s early October).

I was very hurt by actions of close family members that I considered to be intentional and meant to harm during the holidays. I now have learned to identify the thinking that has led to this distress and replace these thoughts (beliefs) which more secure beliefs. I have two sisters and often they would make plans for everyone that didn’t work for my family or myself. This in particular used to get me really worked up. I now am learning to stop trying to control what they are doing. When they make plans that coincide with my schedule I attend but if they don’t I don’t make adjustments or get myself all worked up. I simply say I hope they have a good time but I won’t be able to attend. Funny thing is they now usually make a effort to change the event so I can attend when possible

I didn’t have the confidence to hold family get together's and if I did I compared myself to others and felt my efforts were not as good as other people. I now am able to hold family events if I chose, however, I have learned to lower my standards of what my results should look like. I only have to do an average job 51% is good enough.

This time of year everywhere you turn people are bombarded by the message that this should be the happiest season of all. I have learned to see this as roman-to intellectual thinking, totally unrealistic. Life is not like that, it doesn’t automatically change just because we turn the page of the calendar. The holiday season is just a season with an exceptional title. I now don’t expect the holiday season to be anything different than normal. Sometimes I am on my own at Christmas. It’s not being on my own on Christmas that is distressing, it’s the belief that it’s unbearable, that nobody should be alone! Recovery has helped me to enjoy my own company and that even includes the holidays. I enjoy the times I share with others. I also plan something special to enjoy on my own for those time I find myself alone.

I am learning that there is nothing I can do by thinking, complaining or getting into conflict with others that will improve my life. I am learning to focus on what choices I do have and gaining the courage to follow through with them even if others disapprove of them. My mental health has to come first or all other life’s purposes will be frustrated.

Best wishes for the holiday season!

I am living with anxiety: Doing 'what we fear and hate to do'

I am living with anxiety: Doing 'what we fear and hate to do': Last week I traveled to England for work. It was my longest flight, with about seven hours in the air between New York and London. I had nev...

'Endorse' for living a better life, Recovery International Suggests

https://www.cleveland.com/lyndhurst-south-euclid/index.ssf/2015/07/endorse_for_living_a_better_li.html

How Recovery came to be

NO HOPELESS CASES
An Introduction

It was drawing to the close of the spring term at the University of Strasbourg in Alsace that year of 1913, and a confident young medical student who had made his mark as an outstanding diagnostician during his four years at the school was preparing for his final examination.

One test required the student to diagnose a patient. Young Abraham Low rendered what he was sure was a masterly diagnosis, but to his chagrin he was informed that he had failed the test. In anger he went to see his professor.

“Your diagnosis was brilliant,” the professor told him, “but you will never make a good physician with your present attitude, for you said the case was hopeless in front of the patient. No good doctor ever makes such a statement in the hearing of his patients.
But I will let you repeat the examination.”

Out of this humiliating experience Abraham Low was later to evolve the dictum which ruled his professional life: “There are no hopeless cases—helpless perhaps, but not hopeless.”

Abraham Low passed the second examination and went on to Vienna, Austria, to complete his medical training, which included courses in psychoanalysis. He moved to the United States and took up residence in Chicago.

Here within a few short years he renounced psychoanalysis (a system of psychological theory and therapy that aims to treat mental disorders by investigating the interaction of conscious and unconscious elements in the mind and bringing repressed fears and conflicts into the conscious mind by techniques such as dream interpretation and free association.)  in favor of the socio-psychobiological  (the branch of biology that studies the interactions of body and mind, especially as exhibited in the nervoussystem.) approach to mental and emotional illness.

In 1925 he joined the staff of the University of Illinois Medical School. And in 1931 he also served as assistant state alienist and witnessed a sad parade of mentally and emotionally disturbed patients during his visits to state hospitals. Their suffering stirred
him with an intense pity, but he refused to view the patients’ fate as irrevocable, as long as there was no brain damage. Always there was the dictum from that long-ago diagnostic examination: “There are no hopeless cases.”

By working with the patients he gradually developed a Method employing simple techniques, which proved to him conclusively that the patient could restore himself to health without enduring protracted—and costly—psychoanalytic sessions. Doctor and patients together evolved an organization called Recovery, Inc., which proved to be a potent form of group psychotherapy—a novel experiment for the Thirties.

That was the era when psychoanalysis was in its heyday, the doctor-to-patient relationship forming a tight little world in which it was unbelievable that the patient could do anything for himself.

Upon this world Dr. Low’s Method and his organization of laymen practicing simple psychotherapy techniques for themselves burst like a bombshell.

Most of Dr. Low’s colleagues called his Method a crazy structure based on an impractical theory. And as so often happens to pioneers in any field, he had to pay for his audacity by suffering the persecution of those firmly entrenched powers with whom he took issue. They sealed him off in a vacuum of silence, refusing even to investigate his Method. Their antagonism was absolute and implacable.

Abraham Low was by nature no maverick. His years of training in European medical schools had given him a deep respect for medicine and psychiatry and for all his colleagues who were engaged with him in the work of healing minds and bodies. Over and over he tried the ways of reconciliation but to little effect.

What his enemies wanted was not reconciliation but capitulation.
He was given only one of two choices: a brilliant future as a conformist (his genius was widely recognized) or exile with his “unrealistic” dream, Recovery, Inc.

With his vision of the future as the dawning age of group psychotherapy, he chose Recovery, Inc. He was prepared to fight openly for it even though he knew that the penalty for such revolt might be the revocation of his license by his own profession. Yet for the sake of tens of thousands of sufferers in state hospitals who were being denied the benefits of the free group therapy service Recovery offered, he was prepared to make this ultimate sacrifice of his cherished career. But death closed the issue.

In the years that followed, few thought the vulnerable Recovery organization he left behind could survive. Certainly not his colleagues, most of whom believed that his charismatic personality, not his Method, was responsible for the high percentage of cures among his patients.

But Recovery did not die. Due to the heroic sacrifices of his widow, Mae Low, and his faithful lay lieutenants, all former patients, the little organization not only survived but began to spread.

By 1971 some twenty-four years later, it was boasting branches in forty-five states. And membership lists show that tens of thousands of sufferers have joined it through the years.

Many of them have been cured and gone on their way. Others have stayed to act as leaders, motivated by a desire to help others as they were helped

Recovery Hamilton Mental Health Peer Support: The Pursuit of Happiness

Recovery Hamilton Mental Health Peer Support: The Pursuit of Happiness: I went to University in the 1990s and at that time I strongly believed that the pursuit of happiness was an important goal. I was concerned ...

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The Story of Dr Low's Biography "My Dear One's"

https://recoveryinternational.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/My-Dear-Ones.pdf

She's Like You Used To Be (A Mother's Day Encouragement)

The illness affected pretty much every area of my life. The one that was most painful and felt the most hopeless was the strained relationship I had with one of my daughters. Before recovery I had didn’t know how to control my inner environment (everything inside your skin). I hadn’t heard about not giving outer expression to your inner environment. We were very close when she was growing up. I counted myself blessed because she hadn’t really given me some of the usual difficulties that teenagers do. That was to change when she was a young Mom in her early 20’s. I expressed the insecure thoughts I had towards her in-laws and was told point blank; not to interfere in her family. She was cool, calm and chilly towards me after that time. I was afraid that our relationship had been permanently damaged and I spent much of my time preoccupied and worried about it.

Let’s back a little bit. When I came to the doors of recovery 5 years ago I was barely functioning, I could no longer get myself up and go to work. I was on sick leave and determined to find some type of help for myself. I made a call to the Canadian Mental Health Association and one of the counsellors there told me about Recovery Canada. I attended the very next meeting. I was welcomed by the leader and all the members. During the reading of Mental Health Through Will Training I was given hope realizing I wasn’t the only person that felt and thought the way I did.

I worried constantly and was kept awake many a night previewing and reviewing events that had upset me with no tools to stop what I called my “Hampster wheel” from turning. I talked to everyone and anyone who would listen to my problems. My oldest daughter, unfortunately for her was my sounding board for many years.

I heard the spot that complainers don’t get well and slowly learned to stop the complaining habit. I have been known to slip even now on occasion but I excuse myself and move on. I learned to replace my insecure thoughts about my daughter with the secure thought that she loves me but understandably has a difficult time dealing with my illness.

I also went online attended chat meetings, online meetings, joined our Facebook page. It has helped me so much and I owe a debt of gratitude for all the members who spotted and gently encouraged me on my recovery journey. I firmly believe that without the online community I wouldn’t have gained the level of recovery I have attained but just going to one face to face meetings. The fellowship of this group is essential. Dr. Low said he wanted us to associate with each other for many reasons but one was that we could would our strong link areas in a weaker link environment with our members.

I have posted constructed examples about my relationship with my daughter. I can now see they were all part acts in helping to restore our relationship to a healthier and respectful one. I tried, failed, tried failed until I succeeded to learn to control my insecure thoughts. I can now for the most part trigger spot these insecure thoughts about my daughter see them as ridiculous and replace them with secure thoughts.

Before recovery my daughter didn’t come to my place to visit me on a regular basis. She used to drop the grandchildren off for a visit and quickly exit the door before leaving them. Today she comes in for a visit for a couple of hours and I would say she enjoys our visits now.

Yesterday she was talking about going back to work and the new babysitter that will be taking care of the baby. This person jumps to conclusions about what other people mean when they say and do something, gets upset and talks about it. She said “She’s like you used to be” and joked. I guess I’ll be doing lots of listening!

This Mother’s Day I offer encouragement to those who are still working on improving relationships with their children. There is hope!

The method is simple but not easy and takes a good deal of effort but the rewards are immeasurable.

Consultant Charles Kelly On How The Recovery Method Helped Him Overcome Anxiety

https://www.mixcloud.com/WellbeingforEverydayLife/consultant-charles-kelly-how-the-recovery-self-help-method-group-helped-him-overcome-his-anxerty/

Perfectionism is Boring

Please follow this link to here an RI member share his story.

Steve Jan 2017 RI Reporter

How I came to Recovery International

This is the short story of how I got involved with Recovery International. In terms of depression and anxiety, I was a recidivist –in other words, these were my habitual response to difficulties in life. As a child I cried a lot, probably every night; I remember one time I decided I wouldn’t cry any more and that worked for awhile but of course I started again. As a 17-year-old in my first year of college, I received some counselling from a chaplain then later moved on to a series of counsellors, therapists, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, hypnotists, group leaders, etc. even though psychiatry and psychology were frowned on in my family: You just don’t talk about family problems with strangers. If some people are serial monogamists, I was a serial patient.

At the age of 23 and newly married, I had a “panic attack” while driving with my husband over a bridge in our VW Beetle. That was 33 years ago and I still have a bit of a phobia about bridges and tunnels, not to mention confined spaces, heights, airplanes and other things, but have made much progress in understanding how to avoid the vicious cycle.

The symptom I fear and hated the most was a sense of unreality. I’ve learned to recognize the physical symptoms and tempers that lead to that state (tight throat, racing pulse, fearful & angry thoughts and tempers) so I can usually nip it in the bud and avoid it, but if it comes, I can tell myself it’s “distressing but not dangerous” and it will rise and fall and come and go if I let it and don’t attach danger.

I started taking medications following the birth of my first child and have tried–and been thankful for–various ones over the years, but always hated the side effects. A few years ago, my doctor suggested looking into Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy; unfortunately my attempts to find a group in my city were not successful.

Then, serendipitously I met a woman–another participant–in a business skills workshop–and she was the best thing about it! She was involved in a self-help organization called Recovery Inc.–she actually led a face-to-face meeting and was involved in training leaders. I thought about going for a year or so but “couldn’t” because her meeting was on the other side of a bridge, but I finally called her when I had my next “relapse” into depression. Her pithy Recovery statements cut through the veil of unreality and fear I’d surrounded myself with, especially “For every setback there’s a comeback.”

By taking the bus, I managed to attend one of her meetings; I was in another city most of the time by then which didn’t have a face-to-face meeting. I took an inter-city bus for a couple of hours to attend one other meeting “close by”. Then another wonderful thing happened–Recovery International started phone meetings! I was fortunate to be on one of the first ones–it started in the Fall of 2006 and I’ve managed to make just about every meeting since then. I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s my lifeline. Nonetheless, I’m still an apprentice–we’re all apprentices in Recovery. I’m still learning, I’m still coping with bad habits (going for the symbolic victory is particularly pernicious), but now I know I don’t need to be perfect at Recovery practice either.

I’m very grateful for Dr. Low every day. I try to remember to endorse! And I appreciate all the counselors, therapists and friends who’ve helped me out along the way. What they said made a lot of sense, however, I didn’t know how to put their advice and suggestions into practice. Dr. Low’s system provides us with a way to practice every day, on the trivialities of every day life that can otherwise wear us down.

(Shared from a blog from a recovery member)

Procrastination and Mental Health

The illness affected me in many different areas of my life, procrastination has become an ingrained habit and one I have realized of late how much I have been sabotaging my mental health in many ways by putting off day to day trivial tasks.


Simple things such as putting off going to the store after work so I can go home and relax.   I don’t feel like doing things, have lowered tones and feel like it’s all just too overwhelming.  I procrastinate often. I put off doing laundry, shopping, making a phone call, paying a bill, making an appointment with my Dr., going for a walk….so many things.  At the same time I am angry at the illness and feel frustrated with my thoughts and impulses.


I feel inadequate to manage day to day often tasks.  I blame myself for giving in to these impulses at the same time enjoying giving in to them.  We learn in recovery this is duality, we want the benefit of both decisions. We are afraid to make decisions and to make mistakes.  Nervous persons are often perfectionists, we have standards so high an olympic athlete couldn’t accomplish what we expect of ourselves. We are very sensitive and seek the approval of others.  We have lost our confidence in ourselves and blame ourselves for our perceived failures.


Dr Low teaches us that approval from outer environment (anything outside of skin) is a want not a need.  It takes time in recovery to believe that. We learn about self endorsement that 1 endorsement from inner environment (ourselves) is worth 1,000 endorsements from outer environment.    Dr. Low taught his patients that you can’t strike the muscles with fear and then expect them to carry out their tasks. He taught that we are a strong and capable lot but paralyse ourselves with needless fears.  The way to overcome fear is to command our muscles to move and use our will to carry out the task even though it feels very uncomfortable.


The recovery method is a muscle method.  It is simple but not easy. When in angry temper (judging others are wrong) we learn to control our muscles not to act.  We can express our feelings but should suppress our temper. When in fearful temper (feel discouraged, worry, feel helpless, are despairing, feel inadequate) we learn that movement of the muscles overcomes the defeatism of the brain;


One of the tools I find really helps with procrastination is do the thing one fears and hates to do.  I then endorse (give myself a mental pat on the back). I am learning to highlight my gains and to blindspot my failures.


Dr. Low said “ Self Blame- Stop blaming yourself for your averageness, for your average human imperfections, for human limitations. And if you stop blaming yourself you will, incidentally, naturally whittle down that thing now call the passion for distrust. MYFMYA, Pg 311

• Self Blame- “When my patients begin to lash out against themselves, to accuse themselves, to condemn themselves, they do something that give the self condemnation duration…they think of how they acted previously. When I look back on my past, I could easily exclaim, ‘Oh, what a rascal I have been! Well what of it? So, I have been a rascal numerous times. I am an average person. I am like everybody is.” MYAMYF, Pg. 42-43

• Self Blame- Recovery, or any other procedure, can never train you how to change your feelings or how to call upon certain feelings from entering your consciousness. So…don’t blame yourself for lacking a feeling, or for possessing another feeling that you don’t like to possess. MYFMYA, Pg 85


Procrastination is a habit pattern I have developed and we learn in recovery that we can change old habit patterns.

I am working at one event at a time in overcoming this self defeating habit.  I am so grateful for recovery where I am learning self acceptance and self love.  I am learning to be more accepting of my own human limitations and this helps to accept it in others.  My relationships have improved with others and most importantly with myself.

I encourage anyone who wants to get well to stick with Dr Low’s self help method.  It takes effort and we all have setbacks and revert to old patterns but we learn to use these as opportunities for personal growth and regain the self confidence the illness has taken from us.

I will always be an apprentice never a master.

North Star

You Are Not Alone - Alcoholism

There are so many uplifting and inspiring stories of hope from people who have used Recovery International's self-help tools and support groups to change their lives. These stories inspire and show that there are answers to and ways of changing your quality of life for the better.

 How Recovery International Helped Me Stay Sober

 My name is Bob and I’m an alcoholic. I am also a nervous person and it helps me to address both issues in Recovery Inc.—for me a beautiful blend of the two programs. In former days I can remember thinking to myself while alone drinking in a bar, “You should be doing so much more with your life.” Well, today I am, but the road has not always been easy – it never is.

 I joined Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in 1984 and I was on my path to wellness at long last, but it took several years of focus to stay on Sobriety Road. My major stumbling blocks were depression; anxiety and my anger had turned to rage. I struggled, but I lived and breathed the 12-Steps. I got on my knees and prayed until one day someone, seeing my challenge, suggested I visit Recovery Inc. Maybe it was a “God shot.” I was certainly ripe for the picking.

 When I attended my first Recovery meeting, it was like someone told someone else to call ahead to make sure to “tell him everything he needs to know about depression, anxiety, anger, helplessness and fears.” I felt like I had found a home and a family that understood, much like I felt when I first found AA. Wow! There are others just like me. I am not alone. 

Through the years when AA’s “turning it over” and other slogans don’t work for my symptoms, I pull out some Recovery “spots” from my toolbox. If that tool or spot doesn’t work I put it back and use another AA and/or RI tool. I do this until I find just the right tool that works. At last, I found a way to stop compulsively drinking and take control of my insecure thinking and my life. 

AA and RI are alike in so many different ways. AA has taught me to “don’t sweat the small stuff.” RI deals only with trivialities, and as one long-time AA/RI person pointed out, “Trivialities are the small stuff when we don’t take ourselves so seriously.” 

Several other AA/RI people have offered the following: Recovery frequently talks about “doing the things that we fear and dread to do,” while AA asks us to do the footwork or “row the boat ashore.” AA’s “easy does it” is not much different from Recovery’s concept of “commanding the muscles to relax.” “Restraint of pen and tongue” is similar to “commanding the speech muscles to speak or not to speak”. “Go into action” is akin to taking things in part acts or simply “plan, decide, initiate and act.

When that black cloud of depression hovers over me, or the anxiety and temper drives me close to using and abusing, I find “turning it over” actually means I must take some action steps, like moving the muscles to use some objectivity and to change my insecure thoughts to secure ones. This takes a will to effort and a will to bear discomfort. 

I’ve noticed along the journey that when our heads get so clouded with depression, anxiety, temper and hopelessness, we often reach out and seek outside help –the professional who can prescribe a medication that will help us over the hump of our difficulties. It doesn’t mean we will be taking medication all of our lives, it means we need a little help for a little while. That is where the dual diagnosis meetings of Double Trouble, Double Trudgers and some professionally facilitated dual diagnosis meetings are so valuable. In these meetings the consumer is not judged and no one is taking his or her inventory. These beneficial groups are growing at an amazing rate. AA has approved literature for those needing extra help. The pamphlet is called, “The AA Member – Medications and Other Drugs.”

 A long-time friend and one-time counselor of AA and RI told me years ago that Recovery Inc. is different from AA in that Recovery is actually the spoon and fork to get into the problem and toss it around until the solution is found or the symptoms cease. She often told her recovering clients to “go to Recovery meetings.” She said, “I tell them to go to Recovery so often that I hope they hear it in their sleep.” 

I have come to believe that “turning it over” equates to taking action steps and commanding my muscles to move when the muscles are telling me they can’t and won’t move. At those times, it is the resoluteness of the muscles that can retrain the brain to where the brain responds by saying, “Oh, you really can do the things I thought you couldn’t.”

 Steps one, two and three of Alcoholics Anonymous claim, rather simplistically, “I can’t, he can, so let him.” A long-time AA friend reduced the 12-Steps down to a single word for each step. Step One is about getting “Honest.” To admit there is a problem, whether it is an addiction or a mental challenge, is the first step to wellness. Step Two is about “Hope.” Recovery Inc.’s founder, Dr. Abraham A. Low, also addresses this when he says, “there are no hopeless cases” and that “helplessness is not hopelessness.” 

Step Three is about “Faith.” We learn in Recovery that there must be a conviction behind our spotting technique – a faith that the Method will work in our lives. Steps Four, Five and Six are frequently about “Courage with Integrity and Willingness.” How often do we hear the repetition of the spot, “Have the courage to make mistakes in the trivialities of everyday life.” Both AA and RI give us the motivation and the courage to change – change beliefs and attitudes.

 Step Seven equates to “Humility.” In this area, Dr. Low states, “To admit one’s limitations is humility.” He also says, “The road to humility leads through spotting to the determination to
abandon the craving for the divine thrill of knowing better.” AA speaks directly to humility in Acceptance of the Big Book.

 Steps Eight, Nine and Ten address, “Responsibility, Brotherly Love, Justice and Perseverance.” The Recovery Inc. Method is all about self-help. We accept the responsibility to change; even though we may hate change, we do it because we want to do something healthy with our lives. Recovery stands for “realism, good common sense and an unspoiled way of life.” We practice, practice, practice. Step Eleven deals with “Patience and Spirituality.” It is likely that none of us in AA or RI got this way overnight and we will not get well overnight. We must acquire the will to patience to grow at our own pace. Finally, Step Twelve is about “Charity/Understanding and Service.” As we grow in both programs we gain a greater understanding of ourselves and being tolerate of others. Self-leadership directs us to be helpful to others.

 The Serenity Prayer offers three tools that we can use anytime, anywhere. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” The Recovery Method tells us we cannot control the outer environment; only influence our own inner environment by using the skills of the Recovery Method. 

Today I do what it takes and sometimes it takes a lot of doing. – Bob Dey

 Bob Dey was a long-time participant in both Recovery International and AA. He lived in Los Angeles where he was an RI Group Leader for many years. He is a former member of the RI Board of Directors, and served on the Area Support & Training Committee, and is a previous Chair of the Marketing Committee. Bob also moderated RI’s online Forums

The Recovery Method is a Muscle Method!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Moving the Muscles

When I was growing up and especially when I was probably in middle school, I'd inwardly roll my eyes when Mom would say, "Dr. Low told me..." or, "Dr. Low says..."  But of course, later on I learned to pay attention. First I paid attention out of intellectual interest, later to help friends, and then out of a need to recover from my own suffering!  Thank goodness I had that background as I really knew when I was in the grip of my symptoms, that I might be helpless but it didn't mean I was hopeless.  That kept me going as I started to REALLY practice (there's nothing like pain to get me motivated) and wait the Recovery way for the balance to come.

The note I found in one of Mom's journals is about moving muscles.  It's so basic.  I remember Mom telling me this and when I read it, I thought it would be good to share it with you.  It's true that sometimes I forget that moving the muscles and then endorsing myself has much to do with practice, practice, practice!  It is by this (and more) that I go from being "symptom-led" to "self-led" and with self leadership I gain self-respect.  This is what she wrote:

Dr. Low told me that many members misinterpreted the principle “Move your Muscles”.  He said, “They’ll say, ‘I moved my muscles and scrubbed the floor.’  Well this is not what I had in mind at all.”

We were interrupted in our conversation at this point and I never did get the opportunity to query him on it.  However, I think I have figured it out – or at least I have a guess as to what he meant.

Our society is very “production” oriented.  Moving my muscles and scrubbing the floor may give me a feeling of accomplishment.  I may feel more worthy, and may even feel more acceptable as a person.  This may temporarily give me a lift, a bit more energy, but is this what Dr. Low meant by this principle?

In contrast, I’ll cite the case of my nervous fatigue that debilitated me to almost a stand still (lying in bed, not bathing often, etc.).  I learned from Recovery that I should move my muscles to take walks every day and to try to increase the distance gradually.  I’m not exaggerating when I say that I felt I didn’t have the energy to walk from the front door of our home to the sidewalk, but I moved my muscles to go ahead and walk – not in a weak, hanging back timid way, but with a bold vigorous step.  The dizziness came, the world outside me swam in a blurry, unreal way, but on I walked, striding out for several blocks.

By the time I returned from my walk, I would feel no better – in fact I might feel worse because of the severe discomfort my walk had brought on.  Nevertheless the principle of taking walks, was the practice I had accepted, so next day, out I went again.

There were times on these walks that I would feel I might have to lean against a building or a tree – or possibly drop down and crawl home somehow.  Trembling and sweating I would go in our house and wonder when I would begin to get some results.

My nervous fatigue kept on for a long time – or it would leave for a short time and come back.  But somehow with persistence there was a cumulative effect that finally emerged.

“Move your muscles” was the Method.  What did it do? My muscles proved to my brain that my fatigue was not organic but psychological.  The mere act of walking physically was not the issue.  The issue was that my brain was convinced that I could not function as other people do.  Moving muscles was not an act worthy of praise from others – but it was a means of dealing with the psychopathology of my illness. 

A Members Story

I became ill in 2005 and I was in St. Patrick’s Hospital for a few months, I was diagnosed as having Clinical Depression. My family were surprised as they knew I had been going to see a counsellor, but they felt I was complaining a lot and I had also lost a lot of weight but I hadn’t told them how I was feeling. I had worked all the time and it was only when I went to my G.P. and told him I had been feeling suicidal for a few months that he sent me into St. Pat’s. I was really relieved to be there as I felt I couldn’t do anymore myself and I realised I needed professional help. I felt I was really well taken care of and was grateful to have such a good service available to me. I stayed well until 2007 and then I was in hospital for another few weeks . During the following few years I had a few major changes in my life and even though my family are very supportive of me they felt that I needed support outside the family as well. I had heard about Recovery when I was in hospital but I just went to it now and again and didn’t really take it too seriously. When my mood was good I wouldn’t go to it. I realised in 2011 that I needed to go regularly to the meetings, read the book and put the tools into practice. At first I decided to look after the tea and biscuits to give me an incentive to go. It soon became second nature to me and I began to look forward to meeting the people and sharing their experiences with me. It is lovely to meet people who are going or who have gone through similar experiences to me, there was no need to wear a mask I could be myself warts and all. It took me awhile to give an example as I am normally a quiet and reserved person but I got great support from the group leader and eventually I started to become average and to deal with the trivialities of life as average occurrences instead of a dire emergency. I have learnt that the no. 1 Rule is to make my mental health my priority because as Dr.Low says without good mental health all other efforts are frustrated. I think of Recovery in the following way: Before Recovery my mood went down quite a bit and I also got quite anxious about doing things myself and so I became quite isolated and my world became a lot smaller for myself. Now it’s like I’m in a race on a track, jumping over the steeples as they come and doing it at an even pace. Before it was like climbing a mountain but not seeing the summit or any light at the end of the tunnel.

Catherine, Rathgar Group

Setback isn’t an emergency | Not a Saint--Just an Average Person

Setback isn’t an emergency | Not a Saint--Just an Average Person

Overcoming Mental Stress

A member's testimony

Having been employed as an ironworker for 25 years, I began to develop both physical and mental stress. My parents' health declined and eventually they died. Enormous stress forced me to retire on disability.

I started experiencing intense and debilitating physical symptoms. I didn't know why, but I was more nervous than ever. This nervousness brought on difficulty in breathing, an upset stomach and I felt a lot of pain in my side. The thought of meeting people who might notice my condition only increased my symptoms. Eventually, I avoided going out. My life was changing rapidly. Going to church was an ordeal and traveling on buses, trains and planes away from home was out of the question.

I began thinking if this was the way I have to live, maybe life wasn't worth living. These thoughts terrified me no end. How could I end my life when I have a family, a wife and kids; what about them? I felt there was no way out. How would I survive?

Desperate for relief, but undecided about whether to consult a medical doctor or therapist, I scheduled an appointment with both. My family doctor couldn't find anything wrong physically and advised that it was probably my nerves that were causing my symptoms. The psychotherapist confirmed the same thing, recommending therapy sessions and a referral to a psychiatrist so that medication could be prescribed.

Eventually, I began to feel some relief. Then one day a cousin told me about a self-help organization that she had consulted several years before when she started to undergo panic attacks. She asserted, "Of all the doctors I went to and all the medication I took, the one thing that helped me most was Recovery International."

I decided to try it out. I attended several meetings in my neighborhood and heard people describe similar experiences with nervous symptoms. It was incredible to hear how life had changed so dramatically for them once they found Recovery International. They had gotten well even though initially they could not leave their homes, had stayed in bed most of the time, had been hospitalized often, and had even attempted suicide. I thought if they could do it, so could I.

Determined that this was the program for me, I continued to attend meetings regularly, studying and learning what was known as the Recovery International Method. More important than just knowing the method was to practice it. Of course, when you attempt to do something that you fear and hate to do, you most certainly will be uncomfortable. But the Recovery International Method taught us that our health improved proportionately by the amount of discomfort we were willing to bear. We understood that our symptoms are distressing but not dangerous. The things we fear and hate to do are the everyday things that the average person does. Thus, many of us turned what was once a vicious cycle of helplessness and hopelessness into a vitalizing cycle of self-confidence.

Soon after discovering Recovery International, I began to feel better. I undertook leadership training, volunteering my time to do whatever I could to help all those out there suffering needlessly and quietly as I had been. I have since opened three Recovery International groups in Brooklyn and continue to work tirelessly to identify prospective leaders within our groups to open more groups.

As of January, 2002, I became the Area Leader for New York City. My goal is to open as many doors as I can to reach out to both consumers and the professional community along with other volunteer, non-profit mental health organizations

A Professional's Evaluation of Recovery Techniques

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Weekly-Wisdom.html?soid=1110322436115

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Weekly-Wisdom.html?soid=1110322436115

A Moment in Conquering Stigma - a letter from Treasure Rice (to her daughter Treasure) a pioneer in self-help mental health for her work in recovery

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A Moment in Conquering Stigma

This happened to me back in 1979 and I shared it with Mom. Since I just wrote about her dealing with stigma, I thought this a good follow up example of how we pass things on through our demonstration of self-leadership. I had joined a new group and was asked to read a preamble at a meeting which was quite large. As I started reading my hands and legs began to shake and it was hard to see the words on the shaking paper. I kept spotting that I could bear this discomfort in front of everyone and wondered what the realistic thing to do was. I grabbed a chair and as I pulled it up to the front of the room I explained to the group what as happening to me. I finished reading just fine and endorsed myself. Several people came up after the meeting to say they never thought of doing that and it helped them. Most of all it helped me! I endorsed myself for the effort and bearing the discomfort. I later shared this with my mother and this is what she wrote back to me. She was always encouraging in her words and we were so fortunate to be able to share the Recovery language with each other. Here is what she wrote in June, 1979:

Dear T. Ann,

It was just wonderful to be able to share your experience of victory over your fearful temper. Boy! It certainly proves what Dr. Low said that there is no danger and that a threat constricted to a pin point by tension one can still have a well modulated voice. Also, that "fear can be borne" and cause only discomfort (either severe or mild).

But it's one thing to hear that, read it, or even hear about someone else going through it, and a completely different thing when you are the person shoved into the situation and suddenly there you are - all alone in your body - with that body firing off swarms of symptoms! And of course, when all is said and done about 90% of it is danger to the social personality.

You took care of that when you mentioned your discomfort so forth rightly and proved again to yourself that there's no danger to your social personality either, because people didn't get up and leave or condemn you - in fact you know several people were helped by your action.

This "running forward" to meet discomfort and embracing it as a common human experience (perfectly average) begins to unhinge that fear. It may return, but next time you have this experience behind you and it is part of your memory bank. Having put your muscles through the experience, you will follow that up shortly by leading that meeting and shortly there after another challenge - until immunity forms, the fear will be yours. Not that you won't feel some nervousness - that's part of nearly all such "appearances" before a large group for practically everyone, but it will no longer be of overwhelming severity and intensity.

By the way, even if you had not sat down - you still would be in no danger - but the task at hand and the goal were to get the passages read aloud for the group. You finished the task and reached the goal and even further by laughing at the stigma we feel about our nervous system developing tenseness. The entire group must have relaxed when you did. Good for you. That really took courage!

Love,

Mom

Sheila's Story

I was first put. on medication at the age of twelve. I took my first overdose at thirteen. I was first admitted to a mental hospital at the age of fifteen and for the next 20 years I was in and out of mental hospitals suffering from depression bulimia and panic attacks. I took several overdoses during that time. At times I was locked away in padded cells because I harmed myself. I have had more shock treatment than I can remember. So, the stigma was very strong with me.

Hospitalisations, shock treatment and medication all worked for a short time but the only thing that worked for me in the long-tern was my Recovery training and the meetings. After years of suffering, I joined Recovery 11 years ago.Since then I learned how to be self-led and not symptom led. I had always thought I was a "hopeless case" until I heard the Recovery spotting that there are "no hopeless cases.

Difficult ones yes, but hopeless no. I also got rid of the stigma and I have not been admitted to hospital in the last eleven years. I still suffer the occasional "lowered feelings" but thanks to Recovery I can now "fumble but function". For the past five years I have been living in the country with no access to any meetings.So I have to depend on my Recovery training and the odd five minute phone call to other members when I experience the setback.

I now have two children aged four and a half and three and a half. They bring me great joy and plenty of symptoms!! I finally got married last November at the grand age of forty-five. In the midst of my illness I could never have imagined any of these things happening to me. Before Recovery these events were beyond my wildest dreams.




Shared from Recovery Ireland

“When the will to effort is greater than the will to comfort, we get well.”

At Rosehill I was introduced to Recovery International [RI]. When I came home from Rosehill after nine months I remember trying to tell mom and dad about RI. We finally went to a RI meeting in Dallas and mom and dad were blown away.

The three of us decided to learn enough to bring RI to Denton in 2011. As we taught the RI method to others, they grew alongside of us. One person came all the way from being in her apartment all the time to driving to OK. Another person got a job while using the RI method. A third person got a sales job, became a boss, and was sent overseas to start an office there. A person that started using RI was pleased to go from a job he didn’t fit into to finding a job he really liked and his employer likes him. We have had several other successes like these.

A few of my successes have been finding a friend at RI, and working the program myself so that mom and dad can take a vacation without the worry of my freaking out. My parents finally had enough confidence in me to let me be alone for three days and to depend on friends when I needed help so they could go on a trip by themselves.

While my mom and dad were on their trip, I found ways of eating and to stay busy. My sister took me out to eat and took me along while she did errands she needed to get done. I enjoyed the time Kim spent with me. The next day when mom and dad were on the road home, I went out and had half a Ruben. I brought the second half home and when mom and dad got home, they ate it and went to bed. They didn’t want to do anything after 8 or 9 hours driving and I was OK with that.

My growth in the RI program has been slow but I have not only had growth in RI, but also in my maturity alongside of it. Before when I have had success in growing mentally, it has been followed by a slide backwards soon after. RI has been great in my steady growth forward with no slips back. I remember times a long time ago when I was scary to others because of my outbursts.

I have stayed out of the hospital for 5 or 6 years now and my maturity has not suffered. With the RI tools and spots, I can decide to stay calm for my benefit as well as the benefit of family and friends.

Thomas Fidler
Denton, Texas

Reflections From My Inner Environment

Sunday, August 9, 2009

I Want Things My Way:How the Recovery Method Helps

I get cranky and, frequently, it is because things aren't going the way I want, either within myself or with others. They are generally very trivial things but, nevertheless, get me hot and bothered, worked up and somewhat irritated. 

I use the Method to spot in various ways. I recognize that to be cranky is very average. I use objectivity to point out to myself that "My Way" is a bundle of inner contradictions or desires that all point in the same direction: I want permanent comfort and security. Dr. Low says this is average, too, ("It is human and natural to crave an easy life", page 218, Mental Health Through Will Training) but I can spot this as boiler plate romanticism and it would be exceptionality to have a life like that even though it is common to think that most others have it easier than we do. The Method gives me a clear response to this last point: the most exquisite form of spotting is to spot what I do not know. And I certainly do not know the depths of the inner world of other human beings. 

The outer environment doesn't exist for my benefit or anyone else's; I can spot self-importance in this regard. When I am cranky, there is, of course, angry temper but also fearful temper because, underneath, I don't like myself. So self-endorsement becomes important for me to cultivate. I command my muscles to slow down outwardly and use my "will to listen" within myself and take the focus off what is going on outside myself. I further spot that crankiness may have some elements of both fate and will because Dr. Low points out that you can see crankiness in the youngest infant which implies fate but I can also use the Method to place my will against fate and neutralize its effects. I then spotlight what is going well in my life and there are always many things that are if I have the will to self-honesty. Needless to say, crankiness is distressing but not dangerous. 

After I have spotted for awhile, everything starts to look better, both in my outer and inner environment. The change in attitude literally creates a different perception of reality; I experience myself and others in a more positive light. The Recovery Method provides the road for me to take. All I have to do is walk it.

Cliff Brown
Grateful Recoveryite

blogging behavioral: Recovery International: A Cognitive Tools Support Group

blogging behavioral: Recovery International: A Cognitive Tools Support Group

Recovery Stories

“I am so grateful for these meetings. I live with chronic pain, which took over my life. I spent more than two years not wanting to do anything because of the pain and the depression. I spent all my time lying down. My wife and my mother told me to come here, but I didn’t want to. Finally, I came, and it changed my life. I feel less depressed and find myself laughing more. By RI helping me they helped my family. I just want to say thank you.”.

-o

One of our RI members has been dealing with a lot of change in their life. First, they were told to vacate their apartment of 12 years due to a new owner. They couldn’t find housing that accepted section 8, but finally found a room at a local Single Room Occupancy place. After moving in, the member was assaulted by a bed bug infestation. There were many attempts to fix the situation before a treatment worked. Through all of this the member was able to maintain their mental health and to effectively deal with this in a positive manner. In former days there would have been a lot more temper against the outer environment. Today the member exercised a good measure of self-control and patience.

-o-

“Before I came to RI I had strong urges to drink alcohol, I was very disorganized with my thoughts, it was hard to concentrate and I was nervous and had palpitations. Since I started in RI Discovery it has helped me to stay level and not be as jumpy, by practicing the spots the urges to drink are gone. I’m able to calm my racing thoughts with reminders that ‘if you can’t change a situation you can change your attitude towards it.’ I have also found it helpful in my interaction with others. I have fearful thoughts at times of my boyfriend not paying his half of the rent or going out and drinking when he knows I am in recovery. By sharing my examples in RI Discovery and using ‘decide, plan and act’ I am able to catch myself and call my sponsor, watch TV, or call a friend for emotional support instead of isolating myself and feeling shaky.” -o



Before Recovery, a day like today would have made me check into the hospital...now I just drive by it!